A few weeks before we were set to close on our new house about a year and a half ago, I took Maggie and Matthew to the little splash pool here in our communty for some afternoon fun. After a really crazy, run-around experience just trying to get a pass to get in, I almost gave up but powered through, determined that since we were already all wearing our swimming suits, we might as well go through all the hoops and go swimming. And I have been so glad we were there that day.
After we'd been swimming for awhile, a lady showed up with a couple of boys and a little, bright-eyed baby who I recognized from church the previous Sunday. I never saw her mom's face, but I'd sat behind those big, round brown baby eyes through Relief Society and would recognize them anywhere. So, I introduced myself to the lady and we got to talking. She and her family had just moved into a house one street over from ours, and she had two boys exactly the same ages as my boys. Her name was Andrea Dailey. We were both so excited to discover friends for our kids so close to our new houses. I think it was probably a week after we moved in that I called her up and invited those boys, Collin and Chase, over to play with Nathan and Matthew. All four boys ran through the house driving Brian and I crazy, but they'd all been living at grandmas' houses for so long and it was so good for them to finally play with friends.
Over the months, Andrea and I discovered we had more in common than children and soon became close friends. We knew our husbands would get along like two peas in a pod if we could just get them together. Finally, a YEAR after we moved into the neighborhood, we hatched a plan--sorry, Brian--to get our families together. We threw a BYU football party so the men could meet and then maybe Brian would accept an invitation to be assistant coach on our sons' flag football team that Tim Dailey was planning to coach. It worked. After coaching the team together, Brian and Tim started to find more in common and became pretty good friends themselves. Sorry, Andrea.
And then, last Monday morning, Tim unexpectedly passed away in his sleep. And no matter how much I hug Andrea, and cry with her, and unload their dishwasher, and fold their laundry, and take the kids bowling, and no matter how much Brian misses his friend, or Nathan pokes Collin at the funeral to make him laugh, or Chase and Matthew discuss his dad being "as hard as a rock" (boys!), or Maggie lets Kambria (who's two years younger) terrorize her, we can't fill that giant 6'7" hole in that family. But we'll keep trying. I'll keep up the hugs and helping with the housework and entertaining the kids and Brian will take over the football team and play basketball with the boys and the kids will keep being friends and we'll all just keep loving that family as much and as hard as we can. We'll never be able to fill those, what, size 15 shoes? But we can show Andrea and Keira, Collin, Chase and Kambria that they are loved and that they have not been left alone.
We love you guys, and we're here for you. Always.
11 comments:
That is very sad. Just last night I was talking with our Bishop about a family (outside our ward)that he knew, where the husband (32 years old) had just died of a heart attack, leaving his wife and several children. That is one of those almost impossible scenarios... I am sure the family greatly appreciates all of the help and support you are giving...
I'm sending YOU hugs right now! What else can I say after our last week....I love you!
Oh my goodness! I couldn't imagine. You are such a good friend to her to try to fill in that big hole. What an unexpected thing, that just makes you want to hug your family that much harder and longer every day doesn't it? I know I will. Send her my sympathies even though I don't know her, it could have happened to any of us.
I think those shoes need to be dipped in bronze! Instead of book ends, the kids can use them as planters! I know for a fact that Andrea has been truly blessed by having your family here.
She is so lucky to have such good friends surrounding her!
What a sad story... It must be so hard to deal with when you have young kids.
Thank goodness for friends like you.
The Dailey's are blessed to have you guys as friends and you will be blessed for being such good friends to them. I wish I had gotten to know Tim better and that I knew Andrea better before this.
Such a touching post, thanks Elly.
hey Elly. That was a beautiful post. I'm so sorry for the loss of a great friend. You are wonderful and I know Andrea is grateful to have you around. you have a beautiful family yourself.
How sad.
Thank you so much Elly, I am sobbing right now, remembering this past year and a half of my life and getting to know you and your amazing family. The pain is almost unbearable at night when I am so lonely, but I try to remember the great memories we have made and know that Tim would want me to create more. Thank you so much for your love and support of me and my kids in this time. Love you tons, Andrea
I know that you've had a lot on your plate, but if you head on over to my blog---you will have a chance at my giveaway---it will make things a bit better....
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