The Edge of Elly

Our stake invited all the Primary children to contribute some money toward a couple of granite benches built for viewing our new temple. They were encouraged to earn the money themselves. Today, the stake held an unveiling of the temple benches. Nathan was asked to give a short talk about how he earned the money he contributed and bear his testimony. He did a fantastic job talking in front of all those people, holding the microphone and everything. This is the talk he thought up, wrote, and gave all by himself:

Transcription:
"I earned my money by helping my grd. My grandma wanted a big rock bed. She did not want to buy all the rocks. I helped her collect rocks from daybreak on dirt. We carried loads and loads of rocks to her house. It took 10 to 15 minutes to drive there. She said I saved her $500 for her. She bought new furniture with the money. Now we have two things of her furniture at home.
"I'd like to bare my testimony. I know the church is true. I love my family. I'm thankful for good friends. I know Heavenly Father loves me. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen. / audience (amen)"

I think he was a little disconcerted that everyone was laughing at his talk. But I had several parents come tell me afterward that he was the best part of the event. And, in my partial opinion, he was.

My Auntie Shawn tagged me to record a day in my life. I'm warning you now, the following post alternates between excruciatingly boring and slightly embarrassing.

Chapter One--Morning

I wake up to the sound of Becca screaming from her crib. The clock says 6:56 AM, but my alarm was supposed to go off at 6:40 and either it never went off or I turned it off in my sleep. Considering that having gone to bed at midnight, I woke up last night at 1:00 AM (fed Becca), 2:00 AM (plugged a crying Becca with her binky), 3:00 AM (changed Maggie's diarrhea diaper), and 4:00 AM (fed Becca), I can't be sure exactly what happened thanks to my state of semi-deliriousness.

Puzzling over why my alarm didn't go off and grumbling over how tired I am and how late I'm already running, I lift the wailing Becca out of her crib (funny, she's always a pleasant child until she wakes up hungry in the middle of the night) and give her what little milk I have left these days while I doze off in the rocking chair. Thankfully, she falls back asleep and I put her back in her crib and head to the shower.

After my wake-up shower, I throw on some clothes and brush my wet hair and go wake up the boys at 7:35 AM--about 20 minutes late. "Mom, it's your fault we're always late..." complains Nathan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. Use your own alarm clock.

Luckily, there's leftover french toast in the fridge so breakfast is quick and while the kids eat I make Nathan's lunch. Maggie even managed to wake up without her usual "Mom! MOM! MOOOOOOOM!" this morning--a small miracle that kept Becca sleeping long enough for me to get my hair dry and teeth brushed.

I find Maggie sharing her "mean" (special blanket) with a now-awake Becca and after quickly changing their diapers, we head downstairs to get the boys to school.

Lo and behold, the boys are not in the house. So Maggie and Becca and I do the usual morning rush alone this time: car seat, binky, blanket, hats, gloves, coats, Sparkles, leash, poop baggie, keys, socks, shoes, stroller, bike... And we're off by 8:15 to make sure the boys made it to school.

After a stern lecture on walking to school together ("But WHY, Mom?" "Because you need to be SAFE, Matthew"), the girls and Sparkles and I head home. On the way, I realize that everyone in the neighborhood has their Christmas decorations out so I figure I better take the autumn decorations off my front porch. And then as I'm walking through my yard to the trash with a pumpkin in my arms, I realize there is way too much dog poop on my tiny lawn. By the time I get that cleaned up, Maggie is bored and Becca has pulled off her mittens and they're cold and cranky so I give up on yard work and take the girls inside.

As I walk in the house at 9:15 AM, I realize that Matthew left his school folder and Nathan left his lunch on the kitchen counter. Well, that's what they get for running out the door this morning without waiting for me--I am definitely not going to walk back to school with their stuff. I'm the hatest mom ever, remember? After an argument with Maggie over whether or not she can eat Nathan's lunch, and when she can eat it, and if she leaves it on the floor then Sparkles will eat it before she can, we head upstairs to get the girls dressed.

Then it's Nick Jr. cartoons for Maggie and saucer time for Becca while I finally eat some breakfast and try to focus on a few scripture passages. After a little time with Daddy (who's been snoring on the couch through most of the morning--I don't know how he sleeps through all that noise) and a diaper change, Becca gets her second breakfast. And knocks it on the floor. Lovely. So I clean it up and give her a bottle and put her in her crib for a morning nap. Then, I finally put in my contacts, get my make-up on and tidy up my room.

By now it's 10:30 AM and I'm faced with my daily dilemma: dishes or laundry first?

Being a champion procrastinator--and since Brian has left for work and isn't around to encourage me to be productive--I opt for neither and reward myself (for getting dressed?) with a little computer time.

Chapter Two--Afternoon

Two hours later, at 12:30 PM, I've dragged myself from the computer, started some laundry, made a small dent in the kitchen mess, Becca is awake and I've turned off Maggie's cartoons. The rest of the afternoon is a haze of lunches, poopy diapers, needy three-year-olds begging to play boardgames, messes that won't clean themselves up no matter how hard I will them to, and ever-increasing sleepiness.

When Becca and Maggie go down for naps at 2:30 PM I'm exhausted and the house looks like a tornado swept through. Even though my bed is calling my name as I tickle Maggie's back, tummy, legs and arms while she snuggles in, I manage to evade the temptation and take a quick pick-me-up break with a mug of peppermint hot chocolate (yum!). I know I'll never stay on task long enough to get anything done this afternoon, so I turn on an audio book (The Tiger Rising by Kate Dicamillo, today) to keep me focused and dig into the mess.

I get the kitchen cleaned up just in time for Nathan and Matthew to walk in the door at about 3:45 PM with their backpacks and shoes and jackets and snacks and after-school projects all over the place. Nathan soon heads off to cub scouts (thank goodness we live across the street from the church and he can just run over there by himself) and Matthew runs around the neighborhood collecting kids for a "club meeting" he's hosting today. And I am determined to finish cleaning the living room if I fall asleep at the vacuum.

Maggie wakes up (MOOOOOOOM!) and thankfully joins the club meeting just as they're all being rewarded from Matthew's gumball machine for bravery in the face of ghosts. (Yeah, I don't know.) Then Becca wakes up (WAAAAAAAAA!) and after our one and only nursing session of the day (the sessions in the middle of the night don't count because we're both half asleep) we sneak some peek-a-boo and patty-cake playtime.

At 5:30 PM I shoo all the neighborhood kids home and give the boys a small list of things to do before we leave for Grandma's house (it's Enrichment night and Brian's working late and there won't be any childcare at the church so the kids are headed to their favorite emergency babysitter: Grandma Swings). I thought 15 minutes would be plenty of time to clean their stuff off the kitchen table and grab some pajamas. Of course, I forgot to factor in the 50 times it takes to tell the boys to do something until you have to threaten them with their lives before they even pay attention to you, and then there's the extra time for procrastinating and general goofing off. Half an hour later, after much yelling and losing of privileges, we manage to pile in the car and head down the road.

And then there's the 10-minute trip to Grandma's house that seems like an eternity: "LA LA LA LA LA!" "I just want some piece and quiet!" "ABCDEFG Barney is my enemy...!" "IF YOU DON'T BE QUIET YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH TROUBLE YOU'LL BE IN!" (This is all from the kids. I just shut my ears and focused on driving.)

Chapter Three--Evening

Relief Society is definitely divine inspiration. There's nothing more restorative to frazzled nerves and general exhaustion than a quiet evening sharing Christmas memories with good friends and good food. Except for maybe a good night's sleep but those are elusive and, I'm beginning to believe, fictional.

Feeling re-energized and rejuvenated, I pick up the kids from Grandma's house and bring them home for bed. Luckily, there's no homework to worry about and they've already put on their pjs and eaten their snacks (Hooray for grandmas!), so with a prayer for all and a back scratch for each--and a bottle with rice cereal in the formula for Becca (please sleep all night, please sleep all night...)--I tuck them all into their beds and say goodnight.

It's Mommy and Daddy time! This daily ritual consists of snuggling on the couch, watching some TV, and giving Brian "chention"--which means, well, attention. Tonight, there aren't any new episodes of House or The Office on the DVR so Brian puts in a movie and we snuggle in for a yummy night. Who cares if the movie runs late, this could be the night Becca finally sleeps through the night...!

No, it is not the night that Becca sleeps through the night. Judging by the sound of her cries, she's starving to death at midnight. And since we haven't even finished our rather lame movie yet, it's going to be another long night and another sleepy day tomorrow. Oh well, so goes life...my life, anyway.