The Potato Chip Story

If you ask Brian, he'll tell you he's learned not to argue with me because I generally end up being right.

But, the truth is, I'm not always right and will occassionally make a statement that is not quite accurate.

This was one of those times.

A few weeks ago, while Brian was out grocery shopping and chatting with me on his bluetooth, I mentioned that Nathan had been begging for potato chips for weeks. And I said that I wasn't going to buy potato chips because they have no nutritional value whatsoever.

When Brian said that there was no nutritional value in ice cream (which I tend to make for every special occasion these days), I pointed out that there's plenty of dairy protein.

So Brian went and checked the nutritional value of potato chips. In one serving of Classic Lay's Potato Chips there are 2 grams of protein, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 10% of your daily Vitamin C, and some other vitamins and minerals.

When I tried to say that the fat grams outweigh the nutritional value, he was quick to point out the fat in ice cream (which, in all honesty, is twice as much as in potato chips).

So, if we can have ice cream, then we can have potato chips.

He brought home two bags and they were gone within 48 hours.

Dad was definitely the hero of the hour in the children's eyes.

How Projects Go At Our House - Chapter 3

This weekend, I finally hung up the pictures I gave Brian for Christmas. There were no further hitches to the project, although I may have driven Brian crazy with my indecisiveness.

Cream or white mat board?

Buy another mat or just use the back?

Hang the darn things or succumb to the powerful call of those ancient gods, I-Don't-Know and I'll-Finish-It-Later?

But, in the end, my strong desire to complete SOMETHING prevailed:

Brian took these pictures at Carlsbad Beach in November. The frames hail from IKEA, of course.

The art completes the joint office Brian and I created in the boys' old bedroom. The whole room comes from IKEA, even the maple laminate flooring. The wall colors are Plaza (light) and Lozano (darker shade) from Kwal. It's been lovely, for both of us, to have a real office to work in.

It looks a little bit like an office out of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" with a big desk for Papa Bear and a medium-size desk for Mama bear. All that's missing is a wee little desk for baby bear! But, since this is an adult space, there will be no wee little bears.

Brian's desk - he picked it out himself and was what inspired the room.

Bookshelves and cabinet space that we still need to fill up!

I don't think our HOA allows large animals anyway.

Becca announced at the pet store today: "I don't like hamsters. I like elephants."

When I texted Brian, he said: "Let's not get her an elephant."

I agreed.

You Know Those Days...

You know those days, those perfect days, that you carefully plan down to the last detail? When the kids are going to play with Grandma and you're going to catch up on lots of things that you've been putting off for days, weeks...months?

And then, from the minute you step out of bed, your day starts deteriorating?

Until it finally culminates in the moment you rush into a vet appointment, ten minutes late, with a limp, sleeping two-year-old draped over one arm and a dog pulling at the leash clutched in the other and the unmistakable odor of dirty diaper billowing around you like a bad-day cloud?

That was my day.

Becca's New Thing

She calls it "Legoland".

And begs and pleads and yelps until I turn on You Tube to this exact video.

Next time, Nathan and Matthew, please refrain from sharing your boyhood with your little sister...

Your Kids Will Be Jealous, Your Broom Will Not

You know what kids like to play with more than cardboard boxes?

Cardboard boxes full of packing peanuts, of course!

I got a box of packing peanuts last week with the light fixture I ordered (which, of course, I can't install because they sent the wrong finish - you know how projects go at my house...) So, while I was cussing and pulling out my hair and writing nasty emails to the lighting company, the kids discovered that timeless combination: Styrofoam and cardboard.

They played for HOURS with the stuff. They buried themselves in it. Threw it around. Hid in the box. You know, sheer-joy-of-living kid stuff.

They were COVERED in Styrofoam. (As you can see in the picture above.)

And so was my house.

(Luckily, I had received news that the company would be sending me the right light fixture, so I was a calmer mama.)

It took us at least two hours to clean up the mess. Thanks to the static cling effect, it stuck to the walls, crept into closed closets, and jumped off the dustpan before you could get it anywhere. The girls had to take baths to get it out of their hair.

A week later, I'm still finding packing peanuts in random places around the house...

How Projects Go At Our House - Chapter 2

Brian and I spent the weekend catching up on some small projects around the house. We were vividly reminded why we put off projects as long as possible...

As I was hanging curtain panels in the living room, I realized that I had had Brian install the curtain rod supports upside down. They were attached to the wall studs, which is great for strength and sturdiness but not so great for me if I'm trying to unscrew the hardware - I don't have the upper body strength (or body weight, even) to so much as budge those screws. So I had to undo all the work I had already done assembling the curtain rods and rings, take down the curtains I had just hung, and let it all sit until Brian came home from watching football.

While I was waiting, I decided to hang up the pictures that I had given Brian for Christmas. Soon after starting the project, I discovered that IKEA frames are just like everything else from that store - if you want to hang them up, you have to assemble them and it becomes a very complicated process involving power tools and much cursing. And then I realized that the hardware was missing for one of the frames anyway. So, I gave up on that project in frustration, too.

And I went to the opera (which was marvelous, by the way).

When Brian came home, he fixed the curtain rod supports, installed lights over the living room bookcases, and built a window seat from IKEA - all of those projects went off without a hitch (and look fabulous - thank you, honey!) But after installing three bookcase doors (also from IKEA, we keep them in business), come to find out the fourth door had been packaged in the wrong box and didn't match the others. Aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! So, he had to put that project on hold, too, until we could get back to IKEA and get the right door.

Eventually, we got the curtains hung up.

And the doors on the bookcases.

But those picture frames may sit around for another month before I feel like dealing with another project again!

How Projects Go At Our House - Chapter 1

A few weeks ago, Brian and I attempted to hang a small coat rack in our entry way. I carefully measured and marked the perfect spot for it right below the new mirror we had just hung - not too low, not too high...just right.

We have those fasteners that you hammer into the wall and then tighten the screw in order to pull the back support up against the wall from the inside, and, supposedly, it makes a nice sturdy place to hang your stuff.

So, Brian hammered the fasteners into the wall but one of them malfunctioned and instead of tightening up against the wall, just spun around and around and around. We finally had to punch both fasteners into the wall, fill the gaping half-inch holes with putty, and I had to figure out how to measure and mark a new place to hang the coat rack that would still look decent with the mirror but wouldn't fall off the wall as soon as you hung up your coat (thanks to a now holey wall.)

I was not a happy measurer.

You would think we would've learned our lesson...

This weekend, we tried to hang a gorgeous starburst mirror we received as a Christmas gift. I carefully measured the perfect spots for the fasteners. Then I watched as Brian hammered in the fasteners and tightened the first screw without incident. But as he was unscrewing the screw from the second fastener - so it would poke out from the wall to hold the mirror - all of the sudden the fastener sunk into the wall. And there was a big half-inch gaping hole in the wall at the end of the power drill.

Brian got this funny look on his face, very slowly put down the power drill, and turned and ran away!

Oh, I laughed so hard.

He ended up rigging some sort of hanging device in the gaping hole with various pieces of random hardware and the mirror finally went up on the wall. It looks great, but if you come over to our house, please don't slam any doors...

You know it's time to potty-train her when your two-year-old understands ordinal numbers...

I was changing Becca's poopy diaper and she goes, "This is my third!"

And it was.

Her third poopy diaper of the day.

Time to break out the panties for little Miss Smarty Pants!

Adventures in College Math

Since I didn't submit my previous school transcripts on time, I had to take a college placement test in order to register for a writing course at the local community college. The English sections were a peace of cake, but the math...hahahahahahaha!

The elementary level algebra slowly came back to me as I went through the questions and I made it through fairly well. But by the time I finally reached the college level math questions, I had already been in that testing center for far too long and my brain was starting to fry. I think I got one answer right:

Solve 8 to the 2/3 power. Anyone? Anyone?

But the rest of the questions were like this:

If f(x)=x^2 - 4 and f(3)=g(1), then what is g(x)?

And then this beast finally sent me over the edge:

At the movie theater, adult tickets cost twice as much as children's tickets. Each movie costs $300 in expenses. If the theater sells all of its 300 seats to adults, the net profit (revenue minus expenditures) is 5/2 of what it would be if all seats had been sold to children. How much is a child's ticket?

At this point, I began choosing random answers because I wanted to go home.

It's a good thing I'm just trying to take a writing class, not run a movie theater (or build rocketships).

My brain still hurts.

The Infamous Matthew Logic

Matthew: "Mom, did you hear about the lady who wanted to become a real Barbie? She had plastic surgery and now she's a real live Barbie!"


Me: "Um...what is plastic surgery, Matt?"


Matthew: "It's when you get your body parts, like your arms and legs (but not your heart and stuff like that), replaced with plastic ones."