Crackers and Two Milks

Why does everything you do with a two-year old have to take twice (or five times) as long?

Example: For breakfast today Maggie chose to have graham crackers and milk. So, grab a cup, pour the milk, break up a graham cracker...quick and simple, right?

Wrong.

First, she had to go back to the cupboard to get out another cup because I forgot she likes to have "two milks" (one to dip her crackers in and one to drink) and, silly me, I only grabbed one cup out of the cupboard initially.

Then came the issue of where to put her to eat her crackers and milk. She won't sit at the kitchen table because, well, she's an independent two-year old and that would be too normal. She often eats at her "baby table"--a nifty little blue plastic table I picked up at IKEA for art projects and child-sized dinner guests--but this morning her doll house was still sitting on it and I guess she didn't to disturb it.

So I suggested she sit on a stool at the kitchen island--a great option because the stools have high backs and arms that keep her in one place. (Maggie tends to be a nomad eater: a bite, wander off, come back for another bite, wander off, forget she was eating until I finally clear it away and then she comes crying to me because she can't find her food.)

Instead of the stool, Maggie chose to eat her breakfast on the kitchen island. "Sit here," she said very decisively as she climbed onto the counter when I tried to put her on the stool.

Me: "No, you can't sit on the counter to eat your crackers and milk. How about you sit on this stool?"

Maggie: "No! Sit here."

Me: "No, you can't sit here...[long-winded explanation why she can't sit on the counter]...I have things to do, Maggie."

Maggie: "Sit here. Crackers and milk."

Me: "Magdalene, you can't sit on the counter." (Getting frustrated because I had been ironing when this simple project began and I'm sure the iron is about to shut itself off by now.)

Maggie: "I know, Mom. Sit here!" as she points to the exact stool I tried to put her in before.

Me: "Great idea! Here're your crackers and two milks." The exchange wasn't quite over yet, we still had to work out such details as exactly how to break up the graham crackers, but luckily I got it nearly right on the first try this morning and the Princess was soon actually eating her breakfast.

Grrrrrr...and laughing to myself because this is how it goes all day long. No wonder I sedate her with Dora and Sponge Bob as long as conscience will allow every morning.

How, how, how am I going to deal with another child in three more months?